Mental and Emotional health post

Introduction

“Robert, time for dinner sweetie!” called mom. “No mom, I’m on the computer right now, would you please leave me alone!!!” shouted Robert. How many hundreds of times have we mistreated somebody, over reacted, gotten mad, depressed, etc. for very silly things that could have been explained without the need of shouting, getting angry and tensioning the situation? For common teenagers, this happens many times, and even though we don’t see the negative side of it, it does harm our body. We, as teens, are growing, we are facing changes like being more independent, dating, getting ready for a career, getting mature friends etc. and there can be many feelings one can go through at this time period. The most common are over anxiety, depression and stress and if those are taken to the limit they can have negative effects on our body, and they will be further explained. 

Our mind and our body are like two faces of the same coin; they are interconnected in every single way. Our face, our posture and everything shown through our body is a reflection of our mind or our “soul”, explains Dr Lorusso, a psychoanalyst graduated from the Luis Chiozza University in Argentina, who has helped me develop the main points of this post.

  At the end of the post, you will hopefully think about how you treat yourself, your peers, and change your daily habits to become a healthier person in the mental and emotional health component.

Mental health common mistakes, overcoming them and some tips:

It is true!

·      Having low self- esteem- Self-esteem is a measure of how much you value, respect and feel confident about yourself. If one has a low one, it can have many impacts one oneself like feeling insecure, vulnerable to peer pressure, feeling depressed, especially on the decisions one makes towards health (consuming drugs, alcohol, smoking, etc). Also, it can lead to harm one’s mental health, and then lead to depression and suicide. Many of us don’t like several things we have, maybe our nose, our teeth, our hair, or anything, but we have to accept ourselves and think that we are special the way we are. No one can alter that, so why make a huge deal about it. The best thing we can do about it is accept it, that single attitude will bring unlimited amounts of benefits such as increased respect, increased ability to reach goals, ability to try new things and don’t get affected by it, an increased feeling of value and it will show others that we feel good about ourselves, and therefore to others as well. You can tell if someone has low self-esteem by just looking at him or her, her posture, if he/she is looking to the front or downwards, etc. To improve one’s self- esteem there are many things one can do like using positive self- talk such as “ I can do it” or even “ I am awesome, nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do”. It may look arrogant, but it is only to you, and trusts me, it works! One can also choose supportive friends and act with integrity, being honest and having strong principles. Other tips are mentioned below in the chart. This is a hard to master at first, but once you start getting used to it, such as liking yourself, your looks, your voice, etc. and when you don’t even think about it anymore, you will start seeing your life with joy, looking at the positive side of it, and you will certainly get advantaged.

Follow the tips!

·      We don’t want to try new things- One good sign of mental health is being able to try new things. We should not be afraid of failing, ridicule ourselves in front of everybody or simply making mistakes, we are humans and everyone does it. I know that we all want to be really popular and get the prettiest girls/ boys in the grade, but its fine we don’t get it right all the time. I dare you to try it out, get involved in a new sport you’ve never tried, and have a good time with it, don’t get frustrated if you fail, laugh and go on. We are not all an ace at everything in this world, some of us are good at some things and others that we have a weak point and maybe should be worked on, but we can work hard and try to develop those skills needed for each thing. For example, Messi is for many the best football player in the world right now, but he probably isn’t so good at basketball or at business, science, you name it. This is something Dr. Lorusso told me, as an advice, we can’t all be perfect at everything, but we can develop flairs, and potentials to be developed. What I’m basically saying is that life happens only once, don’t stick to what you’ve always done, try new stuff and have a blast at it, go and do that what is challenging you, go and talk to the girl you like, don’t feel ashamed if you fail, it will make us build the attitude to reach vitality and a great life.

·      Getting seriously affected by stress- “I have a big project due tomorrow.  I have been leaving it for the final day and been on Facebook the rest of the time. It’s 9 p.m. and I haven’t started it yet.  I want to kill myself, I have headaches, I cant concentrate and everything is going wrong right now, the stress is killing me and I’m not going to finish!” I bet many of us have experienced those moments, especially when we procrastinate or leave everything for the last minute and hope that we will finish it magically. It is not going to happen! We must organize our time, plan before hand and prepare everything so we can handle stress and it doesn’t affect our daily lives.  Stress is described as the state of mental or emotional tension in response to a demanding circumstance. Everything that causes stress is called a stressor, and it can range from being going out on a date with someone or simply by watching a football match. 

Don´t let this happen to you!

There are different number of stressors that can affect our daily lives, such as environmental stressors (pollution, poverty, noise, natural disaster, etc), biological stressor (illnesses, disabilities, injuries), thinking stressor (taking an exam, doing something that involves thinking), behavioral stressors (not getting enough sleep, exercise, consuming tobacco, drugs, alcohol, or simply by not managing time properly) and lastly life change stressor (any major life change, either positive or negative, like the death of a beloved person, going through your parents divorce). In a situation where the body reacts to a stressful situation, the energy, reflexes and strength needed to cope with the stressor is called the fight-or-flight response.

Fight or flight response!

 At this point, the body releases epinephrine, or adrenaline, one of the hormones released in a moment of stress, that alters many things, such as the breathing speed (increases) to help get more oxygen throughout the body and the beating of the heart faster, which increases the flood of blood to the body to carry more oxygen. Leaving apart the theoretical part, long term- stress can cause diseases such as tensing up of the muscles in the neck and head, headaches, heart attacks, and weakening up the immune system, which makes us combat the daily infections (like flu). The advice here in order to avoid suffering from long term stress is taking care of oneself. We will face hundreds of stressful situations from now on, hopefully they are small and don’t influence our daily lives. Things one can do to defend from stress are things such as exercising regularly, getting enough rest, eating balanced (physical health!). Also, if you think it is severely affecting you, tell your parents, friends, relatives, etc. you trust to help you overcome this, it will be the best way to overcome this!

Emotional health common mistakes, overcoming them and some tips:

·      Expressing emotions in a negative, aggressive and destructive way: We tend to treat people bad, over exaggerate, scream, yell, anything you want to call it, but we are generally bad at transmitting calm and relaxed messages to other people. When our mom asks us something, the impulse of screaming always crosses our mind, but we must learn to avoid it and respond in a soft and assertive way, it won’t only help us to become more pacific people, but others will look at us with respect as well. Some recommendations are to practice talking calmly with someone in your trust group; carry out some exercises that involve talking assertively to each other in a direct, respectful way.

Three communication styles, aim for the assertive one!

·      Not asking for help when sad or coping with unpleasant emotions- As mentioned, teens aren’t generally known as the most talkative group of all. To be honest, it can be really hard to express our emotions in difficult situations, and by doing this; we aren’t allowing other people help us to become a better person. By talking, everything gets clarified and one can grow, listening to other people’s opinion about what we are good at and what we can work on. A possible solution for this could be to talk to our parents (yes, we have to do it!) and they will know if we need the help psychologist or any other specialist. Trust me, it is the best solution, but again, as a teen it can be really hard to make the decision of going to a person and deeply talking about one’s difficulties, since we prefer to stay on our borders and avoid other individuals.

·      Trying to blame others for our actions- we often tend to blame others for our decisions and not take charge of our actions, says Dr Lorusso, who explains that if we take a decision about something (even to think about it) and it doesn’t turn out as one expected it or thought it would, it is entirely our responsibility. It is fundamental to develop self- esteem and become an independent person, since if not one will always think that to be successful one has to depend on other to solve his/her issues.

·      Trying to live without complaints, reproaches and blame- also suggested by Dr. Lorusso, one must live without complaints, reproaches or blame towards others and us. This attitude makes us live a life with discomfort makes us conflictive persons. To face this, there is a clear solution, that is only inside you and you can only change. 

·      Depression and anxiety issues- Feeling sad from time to time can be something normal at this age. But when that turns into despair, loneliness and emptiness, that is called depression and that is what can be dangerous, since it is considered a mental illness. To treat this, it is recommended to check with your parents and doctor (sometimes the medicine one ingest could be the one causing it) . Fortunately, on many cases, one will control the thoughts and feelings and will be able to overcome this by your own.  To face this, one must avoid and withdraw your attention from the thoughts or the things that are bothering you and that is provoking you this. Think of that you feel really good about, maybe imagine a situation that you are the hero, the leader and that overall makes you feel like the best person in the world. As you leave apart the negative circumstances and refocus on the positive thoughts, you will feel better about yourself. Don’t let this affect you, stay strong and positive that you will get rid of this situation. Like the “Law of attraction” movie says, picture yourself being out of the situation you’re in right now, and imagine yourself being healthy again with the people you love, your family, boy/girl friend, friends. This will help a lot to come out of the current circumstance.  About the anxiety, it is a normal reaction to stress, when we don’t know how this is going to turn out. We may experience feelings of worry, nervousness and uneasy, and it is something normal we all experience in life when a big tests comes (called test anxiety), when a date comes, or any important event for one. But like depression, when we start feeling an excess amount of anxiety for unknown reasons (out of proportion with the present situation), happening too often and strong then that means that our anxiety levels are too high. We may experience being tense, distracted, preoccupied and always alert, affecting our lives. It is actually considered a very common disorder, and it should be treated as soon as possible to stop it from evolving into something worse. There are many ways to treat anxiety, going from medications (prescript by doctors), to cognitive behavioural therapies that will help identify the types of thoughts and beliefs that cause the anxiety and work to reduce them. There are also two other methods used, biofeedback which uses electronics to measure and monitor how the body responds to stress in order to overcome it, and relaxation techniques, which include yoga and tai chi activities. 

Defense mechanisms. Important in real life!

    An automatic and unconscious thought or behaviour that is used to avoid unpleasant emotions is called a defense mechanism. It isn't decided that it is good or bad, they sometimes occur at moments when we don´t feel that good, and we can´t control them. It is important to recognize them and become aware of how you react and treat others. To prevent from experiencing these two states of mind, having a healthy lifestyle (balanced eating, doing physical activities and resting) will contribute to one’s health in this area. 

Conclusion:

Maslow´s hierarchy of needs.

Having good mental and emotional health have indescribable amounts of benefits. Mentally and emotionally healthy people are more likely to reach self- actualization. Self- actualization is the achievement of the best that a person can be. It was developed by Abraham Maslow, a psychologist, developed this theory that stated than in order to achieve self- actualization one would need to first achieve some basic needs. He listed each need in a pyramid which he named "Maslow´s Hierarchy of Needs" and that shows each stage in order to achieve self actualization. The first basic needs are ones such as water, food, sleep and exercise, moving to safety, shelter, and protection from danger. Unfortunately, we don´t all have this, and that´s why we need to work on making a better a better world following this theory. 

    Teens at some stages are very difficult beings to treat. It is hard even to talk to our relatives about specific things of my life that are good or that concern us, such as school, friend, social life, etc. I understand that sometimes it can be really hard to follow the series of advices mentioned, but we must do it for our own benefit. I don’t want to sound like an old grumpy old man trying to explain teens of my old age to strictly follow every single thing here or you will be doomed to death. No, my point here is to make you change your attitude of how you see health according to the different components. My goal is to make you think on these issues and maybe help you to switch to a healthier life, maybe applying one new advice each week. Changes happen step by step, because realistically switching from a lousy, sedentary, aggressive lifestyles to the healthiest teen of all in one day will be impossible and I’m sure none of you are looking for this.

     Going back to the mental and emotional health topic and to wrap up this, I want to make it clear how important it is on our lives, and the big impact it has on us and on other people around us. When we have self- esteem, or when we treat people calmly and assertively, life itself has a meaning, we feel like we belong to the world and that life is the best. Take some time and try to apply this things to your life, you will live a more pleasant life without resentment, rage and anger or loneliness, unhappiness and despair.

Source for pictures: www.my.hrw.com (online health textbook)

·       Trying to imitate others to build a specific personality- The last point of this post will be about our personality, many of us are very outgoing, others may be a little more shy, but we all have something special in the inside that makes us the best person in the world. I can be very shy in many circumstances, as a child especially, when I didn’t speak and just went with the flow, but that doesn’t restrain me from enjoying life, making friends, etc. Another comment Dr. Larusso told me was that there isn’t a specific personality that is the best, that if by nature you are outgoing, can speak in front of many people, etc. it doesn’t mean you will succeed in life 100%, while other shy people with miserably fail. No, it simply isn’t that way and we, as teenagers who are in a developing age, must build character, that normal personality that makes us the way we are and that we enjoy. By being comfortable and confident about one is what will bring us interior happiness and therefore success in life. 

Build your specific character